Then I ventured down to the beach where I was hoping to find lots of European hotties. Alas, I found nothing. Nada. Zilch. ZERO! Remember the '90s song, "Where Have All the Hotties Gone?", er, cowboys? Well, they aren't here. I was hoping for hot men in speedos and all I found were old, fat men in speedos. Sheesh, I wasn't even being picky. I would have taken a hot woman in a bikini for all I cared. I just wanted to see hotness. All I found were women in bikinis who SHOULD NOT be in them. But then I thought, well good for them for not caring what people think, and then I shielded my eyes. MY EYES MY EYES!
The rest of the day I spent listening to my iPod and eavesdropping on the people around me. A couple in front of me was from Canada. Then a couple from Alabama sat down next to them. I'll sum up what ensued. Canadian couple likes to drink. They told the Alabama couple all the things to do by Positano. Then they continued to drink. After about 6 cocktails the Canadian girl started to get loud and talk about how awesome Miller Chill is, "Only 64 calories!" with a rock of the fist in the air. Perhaps she should be drinking more of the 64 calorie Chills than the high calorie fruity drink she had in her hand. Just saying....her boyfriend then started in with, "I make 6 figures plus. You guys must be doing pretty well too. Poor people don't vacation in Positano." I can only imagine the reactions on Alabama's face, who seemed to be classy Southerners. After more drinks, Canada started to share that he and his girlfriend have been "rock stars" in bed this trip, having sex more than 20 times-at least." Then female Canada chimed in with a huge smile, "I'm sore." My assessment of the situation, Canada has a small penis.
The rest has been very chill around here. I'm just sitting on my patio trying to keep an internet connection long enough to update.
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